Roll of the Dice: Tougher Than the Rest

Not all of us were born in the U.S.A. We don’t all get to that place where we really wanna go.

But we’ve all been around a time or two, and somehow we still manage to get out on the dance floor again.

Maybe that’s why “Tougher Than the Rest” seems to resonate universally. And not just with Springsteen fans (I’ve never met one who didn’t love this song), but also with romantic non-fans who grudgingly concede that maybe this Bruce guy has at least one redeeming song, and even with people who have no idea who Bruce Springsteen is, let alone that he recorded one of the most-covered love songs of the modern era.

“Tougher Than the Rest” is a near-perfect song. Knock the studio version down a peg, if you must, for its dated eighties synth and drum machines, but I defy anyone to listen to an acoustic arrangement–with Bruce’s piano as powerful a declaration of love as The Big Man’s “Drive All Night” sax solo–and come away unmoved.

Even in its original arrangement, each musical element plays an essential role in conveying the song’s message of romantic resilience: the resolute drum machine tempered with Max Weinberg’s deliberately imperfect, humanizing heartbeat; the gruff, masculine melody that keeps Bruce’s romantic lyrics anchored in the real world; and even the deep guitar solo that commands attention without ever showboating. “Tougher Than the Rest” is the musical equivalent of John Cusack standing outside your window with a boombox held over his head.

And those lyrics–well, we’ll get to those momentarily. But before we do, there’s one more essential ingredient we have to acknowledge, the element that elevates Bruce’s best performances of the song to moments you’ll never forget:

Connection. Specifically, the connection between the singer and his wife.

When Bruce sings “Tougher Than the Rest” solo, it’s a beautiful thing. But when he sings it with Patti Scialfa… it’s electric. And it’s been that way from the very beginning.

Bruce was very wise to make the official video for “Tougher Than the Rest” a live performance (the same one featured on his Chimes of Freedom EP) rather than use the Tunnel of Love studio track.

It’s unclear whether Bruce and Patti were romantically entwined when this performance was captured in Los Angeles on April 27, 1988 (they’ve always been discreet about exactly when they got together), but if they weren’t at the time, they certainly were about to be. Director Meiert Avis (who also filmed the videos for “Tunnel of Love,” “Brilliant Disguise,” and “One Step Up“) captured the chemistry between Bruce and Patti… and it’s something to see, even all these years later.

(Props to Bruce and Meiert for another notable inclusion: the vignettes of same-sex couples featured in the montages that intercut with the performance. In 1988, that was not a common thing.)

Let’s take a dive into the lyrics now, because their plainness deceptively masks the deliberate craft that makes “Tougher Than the Rest” so universally resonant. There’s much to note and admire in each and every verse.

Well it’s Saturday night, you’re all dressed up in blue
I been watching you a while, maybe you been watching me too
So somebody ran out, left somebody’s heart in a mess
Well if you’re looking for love, honey I’m tougher than the rest

There’s both a lot of information in that verse and a lot of ambiguity–and that’s undoubtedly intentional.

Are these two strangers across a crowded bar working up the courage to make the first move, or two friends gauging whether it’s time to take their relationship to the next level? Is it the singer whose heart was broken, or is it the girl he’s singing to?

Bruce is careful to provide just enough detail in that opening verse to ensure that no matter who the listener is, they’ll find achingly familiar context to latch on to.

Some girls they want a handsome Dan or some good looking Joe
On their arm, some girls like a sweet talking Romeo
Well ’round here baby, I learned you get what you can get
So if you’re rough enough for love, honey I’m tougher than the rest

The name-dropping in the second verse is more than just a clever device (which it is)–it’s also a deliberate counterpoint to the anonymity in the rest of the song. Neither the singer nor the object of his affection are ever named, just like the “somebody” jilter and jiltee in the first verse. Never one to shy away from naming his characters, Bruce refrains here in order to ensure that we inhabit rather than observe his characters.

This verse is also notable for Bruce’s wink at his younger, brasher, Born to Run-era self: the entire verse can be distilled down to: I ain’t a beauty, but hey–I’m alright. 

When Bruce wrote “Tougher Than the Rest,” it had been more than a decade since our “Thunder Road” hero left a town full of losers. Now older and wiser, Bruce seems to have found the heroism of those who don’t win but refuse to quit the game until they do.

The road is dark and it’s a thin, thin line
But I want you to know I’ll walk it for you any time
Maybe your other boyfriends couldn’t pass the test
Well if you’re rough and ready for love, honey I’m tougher than the rest

As is often the case with Bruce’s song, the vulnerable heart of the song is in the bridge. Love is indeed a never-ending test of navigation, balance, and endurance. And sometimes its our falls and failures that help us build the skill and stamina we need to finally go the distance.

Our hero may not be bright and shiny anymore, but he’s road-tested and reliable–and there comes a time for all of us when that character trait becomes an important part of what we seek in a partner.

(Oh, and that’s a clever tip of the hat to Johnny Cash, isn’t it?)

Well it ain’t no secret I’ve been around a time or two
Well I don’t know baby, maybe you’ve been around too
Well there’s another dance, all you gotta do is say yes
And if you’re rough and ready for love, honey I’m tougher than the rest
If you’re rough enough for love, baby I’m tougher than the rest

Notice how Bruce reintroduces the concept of uncertainty in the final verse (“maybe you’ve been around, too”), a construction that runs parallel to the “maybe you been watching me too” in the first verse.

This is another great example of the expert craftsmanship on display in this song–the “maybes” first establish and then later remind us of the vulnerability of our characters’ situation, which is otherwise belied by our steadfast narrator.

The notion of a dance as metaphor for love…. well, that’s certainly not new. But rarely is it so perfectly placed–we can easily visualize our hero getting off his bar stool, extending an arm to his girl, and leading her onto the dance floor, and we can imagine her (hopefully) momentary hesitation as she weighs whether to take the chance.

Love never stops being a dance. And as Bruce would write two decades further down the road, we might not always have much sense about us, but as long as we have our feet, we can always get back out on the floor.

Bonus:

I know this is usually the part of the essay where I share outstanding live performances of our spotlight song, but honestly–nothing’s ever going to beat that official 1988 video.

Still, there are some rare and unusual performances that are worth checking out, starting with Bruce’s very first performance of “Tougher Than the Rest,” which happened months before the Tunnel of Love Express Tour at a rare E Street Band appearance (well, almost, anyway–neither Nils nor Clarence were present) at McLoone’s Rum Runner at the Jersey Shore). It’s not a great recording, but it’s a historically significant one.

Next up: a rare solo acoustic guitar performance from the Ghost of Tom Joad Tour, with gorgeous accompaniment from Soozie Tyrell’s violin and Patti’s vocals. I love this one.

Flashing forward to the 21st century now, Bruce and Patti perform “Tougher Than the Rest” 28 years after that 1988 performance, demonstrating that it holds just as much meaning for them today as it did then.

…and finally, I’d be remiss if I didn’t include this (almost) nightly highlight from Springsteen on Broadway, with its lovely linger on “I’ll walk it for you anytime.”

Clearly, “Tougher Than the Rest” holds deep meaning and power for Bruce and Patti, and for that we can be grateful–because it means we’ll likely hear them play it for many years to come.

Tougher Than the Rest
Recorded: January – April 1987
Released: Tunnel of Love (1987), The Essential Bruce Springsteen (2003)
First performed: October 31, 1987 (Sea Bright, NJ)
Last performed: October 31, 2022 (New York City, NY)

Looking for your favorite Bruce song? Check our full index. New entries every week!