{"id":29186,"date":"2021-09-15T05:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-09-15T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/estreetshuffle.com\/?p=29186"},"modified":"2021-09-15T05:14:49","modified_gmt":"2021-09-15T12:14:49","slug":"roll-of-the-dice-red-headed-woman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/estreetshuffle.com\/index.php\/2021\/09\/15\/roll-of-the-dice-red-headed-woman\/","title":{"rendered":"Roll of the Dice: Red Headed Woman"},"content":{"rendered":"

“I think it’s one of the finest songs ever written on the subject, but I don’t know what the competition might be. Needless to say, the field is wide open.”<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

— Bruce Springsteen introducing “Red Headed Woman,” September 25, 1996<\/em><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ladies and gentlemen, the comedy stylings of Mr. Bruce Springsteen:<\/p>\n

“If you can pronounce it, you can probably do it. ‘Cunnilingus!’ See? You’re ready!”<\/em><\/p>\n

“I got a lot of theories about cunnilingus. I got a political theory, which is that if Bob Dole hadn’t pushed that 15 percent tax cut and instead promoted cunnilingus in place of it, he might be president right now. So my theory is that’s how Bill Clinton got elected: he’s the only candidate people could actually imagine practicing cunnilingus!”<\/em><\/p>\n

“I do mean practicing though, because it’s not as easy as it looks. It takes a lot of practice, a lot of attention and craft and detail, it takes a lot of patience, patience, and more patience.”\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

“The upside is you score a lot of big points with the missus. Next time you do something stupid, you can always stand back and say ‘Darling, remember that lovely evening when we practiced cunnilingus?’ And she’ll say ‘If you think that makes a difference… actually that was pretty nice, let’s do that again.'”<\/em><\/p>\n

“If there\u00b4s any children left in the auditorium, \u00b4cunnilingus\u00b4 is Latin for ‘Keep your room very clean’.”<\/em><\/p>\n

“It’s a metaphor for true love, just a metaphor!”<\/em><\/p>\n

This may be the only time I ever compare Bruce Springteen to ALF, but I have to believe that every time Bruce performs “Red Headed Woman” (and at least when he talks about it) he’s gotta be thinking, “I kill me!” Depending on your predisposition, there’s very little more endearing or eye roll-inducing than watching Bruce Springsteen crack himself up on stage.<\/p>\n

But hey, I’m grateful he put it all out there. He’s saved me (and you) from my otherwise irresistible temptation to go for the easy jokes. Or the bad ones. I usually can’t tell the difference.<\/p>\n

Anyway, “Red Headed Woman” made its debut at Bruce’s legendary Christic acoustic shows in November 1990. It was Bruce’s first public concert appearance since mothballing the E Street Band the year prior, and while I can’t say for sure what the audience was expecting that night, I’m fairly certain it wasn’t a yodeling Springsteen waxing poetic about oral sex.<\/p>\n