In the opening notes of his 1987 Tunnel of Love album, Bruce Springsteen introduces us to a thinly veiled narrator who has it all.
Well, almost all. He’s missing just one thing. In “Ain’t Got You,” he sings of his fame, success, and worldly wealth–all of which mean nothing to him without the one thing he lacks: love.
In retrospect, it’s easy to see “Ain’t Got You” as autobiographical. (For those following the gossip columns, it wasn’t that hard at the time, either.)
It would be almost five years before we’d hear more new music from Bruce, five years in which his first marriage publicly dissolved, his second union established, and his first child entered the world. Unsurprisingly, both Human Touch and Lucky Town feature veins of happiness, devotion and fidelity in place of the restlessness, temptations, and demons that laced his previous album.
If Tunnel of Love is about the decisions we’re faced with and the choices we make, Human Touch and Lucky Town are about the satisfaction that comes with having made the right choices. So it’s a nice bit of symmetry when Bruce closes Lucky Town by revisiting the same character that opens Tunnel of Love–now five years into what we’d expect would be his happily ever after–in a lovely folk ballad called “My Beautiful Reward.”
However: this is a Springsteen song, and in Springsteen songs happiness may be after but it is rarely ever. Bruce’s narrator in “My Beautiful Reward” had the riches, the mansion on the hill, and even the girl, but it still wasn’t enough.
What do you do when life hands you everything you’ve ever wanted on a silver platter, and you’re still not satisfied? You keep seeking.
Well I sought gold and diamond rings
My own drug to ease the pain that living brings
Walked from the mountain to the valley floor
Searching for my beautiful reward
Although they couldn’t be more different musically, Bruce constructs “My Beautiful Reward” and “Aint Got You” with lyrical parallelism. Both songs refer to diamonds and gold in their first line, but while the younger man crows of his wealth (I got the fortunes of heaven in diamonds and gold…), the older and wiser man recognizes his material riches as a drug to numb the daily pain of a life lacking in meaning.
The narrator’s trek from the mountaintop to the valley floor is a metaphor for the songwriter’s own back-turning on his mid-eighties mega-stardom.
The second verses are parallel as well, with both songs focusing on homes full of possessions (I got a house full of Rembrandt and priceless art) but devoid of presence.
From a house on a hill a sacred light shines
I walk through these rooms but none of them are mine
Down empty hallways I went from door to door
Searching for my beautiful reward
(It’s no coincidence that Bruce sets his character’s house upon a hill–that’s a callback to the powerful symbolism such homes have had for him at least as far back as Nebraska and most likely back to his childhood.)
Both songs segue into their bridges at this point. In “Ain’t Got You,” our narrator makes a deal with the devil to win his love. In “My Beautiful Reward,” we are reminded that such deals often don’t bring the lasting satisfaction we expect them to.
Well your hair shone in the sun
I was so high and I was the lucky one
Then I came crashing down like a drunk on a barroom floor
Searching for my beautiful reward
Our narrator had his lover’s affections for a time, but he lost them–and it’s implied by the metaphor (one that Bruce re-uses in “All the Way Home“) that it’s the result of his own actions and temptations. When fame and wealth don’t bring satisfaction, it makes sense to assume love will. So when it doesn’t, what do you do?
You keep searching.
Tonight I can feel the cold wind at my back
I’m flying high over gray fields, my feathers long and black
Down along the river’s silent edge I soar
Searching for my beautiful reward
In this final, ethereal and dreamlike verse, our narrator is transformed into a raven–a symbol in many cultures of insight, wisdom and knowledge, but also of darkness and destruction. Bruce’s selection of it as his avatar is deliberate and significant. It reveals a self-awareness combined with a certain powerlessness. Our narrator is destined to forever wander the world searching for something he knows he’s missing… something hidden in the one place where he’ll never find it: himself.
At face value, it’s an unsettling note to end on, but the lilting backing track conveys peaceful acceptance rather than a curse. That may be the artist winking at us, because for a songwriter whose work relies on the search, an ever-elusive reward is the kind that matters most.
On the album, “My Beautiful Reward” is essentially a solo track: Bruce plays every instrument except for drums (Gary Mallaber provides them throughout Lucky Town) and organ (a rare cameo by Ian McLagan of Small Faces).
On tour, however, “My Beautiful Reward” was an ensemble number, albeit a restrained one. Throughout World Tour 1992-93, Bruce offered it as one of his final numbers of the evening in an arrangement that bordered on benediction.
“My Beautiful Reward” featured nightly throughout the tour but disappeared for over a decade immediately after. In 2005, Bruce resurrected it as a staple of his solo acoustic tour. Performed on pump organ and harmonica, it sounded more prayer-like than ever.
Bruce has played “My Beautiful Reward” 127 times to date, but surprisingly only twice with the E Street Band, including this lovely and uniquely arranged dedication to Bruce’s late cousin on the Wrecking Ball Tour in 2012.
“My Beautiful Reward” had its last outing to date almost a decade ago, a solo acoustic encore in Pittsburgh in 2014.
A return engagement is a long shot at this point. “I’ll See You in My Dreams” seems to have taken its place, a more fitting send-off at this late stage of Bruce’s career. Still, one never knows–as long as Bruce keeps writing and releasing new music, the search continues.
My Beautiful Reward
Recorded: Late 1991
Released: Lucky Town (1992)
First performed: May 6, 1992 (New York City, NY)
Last performed: May 23, 2014 (Pittsburgh, PA)
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The song has always been a favorite of mine off the album since I first heard it. Thanks to your analysis, it is now even better. Thank you
As always, Ken, GREAT writing about one of the greatest songs–or poems–by ANYONE about the process/struggle to create art, and to follow your muse–though you may never completely reach/satisfy it, a la a women’s mysteries in “Secret Garden.” Maybe only Bowie’s classic “Sound & Vision” comes close.
Recently ‘Roll of the Dice’ popped into my playlist. This had me going back to give both Lucky Town and Human Touch another listen. I had long ago dismissed both of these albums, but listening again, both have held up well over time.
“Benediction”; “prayer-like”: I’ve always viewed “My Beautiful Reward”–perhaps like “Hunter of Invisible Game”–as the narrator’s search for affirmative proof in this world of a possible heavenly existence in the next. Based on the author’s religious upbringing this could be another (analogous?) interpretation. Please note Bruce’s upward, extended arms at the conclusion of the song in the above ’93 Stockholm clip. I much appreciate your interpretation and educational reference of a raven as a symbol of insight, wisdom and knowledge.