Roll of the Dice: Red Headed Woman

“I think it’s one of the finest songs ever written on the subject, but I don’t know what the competition might be. Needless to say, the field is wide open.”

 

— Bruce Springsteen introducing “Red Headed Woman,” September 25, 1996

Ladies and gentlemen, the comedy stylings of Mr. Bruce Springsteen:

“If you can pronounce it, you can probably do it. ‘Cunnilingus!’ See? You’re ready!”

“I got a lot of theories about cunnilingus. I got a political theory, which is that if Bob Dole hadn’t pushed that 15 percent tax cut and instead promoted cunnilingus in place of it, he might be president right now. So my theory is that’s how Bill Clinton got elected: he’s the only candidate people could actually imagine practicing cunnilingus!”

“I do mean practicing though, because it’s not as easy as it looks. It takes a lot of practice, a lot of attention and craft and detail, it takes a lot of patience, patience, and more patience.” 

“The upside is you score a lot of big points with the missus. Next time you do something stupid, you can always stand back and say ‘Darling, remember that lovely evening when we practiced cunnilingus?’ And she’ll say ‘If you think that makes a difference… actually that was pretty nice, let’s do that again.'”

“If there´s any children left in the auditorium, ´cunnilingus´ is Latin for ‘Keep your room very clean’.”

“It’s a metaphor for true love, just a metaphor!”

This may be the only time I ever compare Bruce Springteen to ALF, but I have to believe that every time Bruce performs “Red Headed Woman” (and at least when he talks about it) he’s gotta be thinking, “I kill me!” Depending on your predisposition, there’s very little more endearing or eye roll-inducing than watching Bruce Springsteen crack himself up on stage.

But hey, I’m grateful he put it all out there. He’s saved me (and you) from my otherwise irresistible temptation to go for the easy jokes. Or the bad ones. I usually can’t tell the difference.

Anyway, “Red Headed Woman” made its debut at Bruce’s legendary Christic acoustic shows in November 1990. It was Bruce’s first public concert appearance since mothballing the E Street Band the year prior, and while I can’t say for sure what the audience was expecting that night, I’m fairly certain it wasn’t a yodeling Springsteen waxing poetic about oral sex.

Now if it was just that pair of off-tour performances, “Red Headed Woman” might have stayed an under-the-radar lark. But in one of the more famous episodes of MTV Unplugged, Bruce chose to open the show with it before plugging in immediately after and abandoning the entire point of the series.

“Red Headed Woman” was canon from that point on.

So what possessed Bruce to focus his songwriting talents in that particular direction? All I can offer is a little historical context. If Bruce debuted “Red Headed Woman” in November 1990, he likely wrote it shortly before–perhaps shortly after the birth of the eldest Springsteen child over the summer. One might assume that marital relations had resumed in the Springsteen/Scialfa household, and all was right with the world.

Well brunettes are fine man
And blondes are fun
But when it comes to getting the dirty job done
I’ll take a red headed woman
A red headed woman
Yeah a red headed woman
Sure can get that job done

Well listen up stud
Your life’s been wasted
‘Til you’ve been down on your knees on and tasted
A red headed woman
A red headed woman
Yeah a red headed woman
Sure gets a dirty job done

Yeah well tight skirt, strawberry hair
Tell me what you’ve got baby, waiting under there
Big green eyes that look like sun
They can see every cheap thing that you ever done

Well I don’t care how many girls you’ve dated
You ain’t lived till you’ve had your tires rotated
By a red headed woman
A red headed woman
A red headed woman
Sure can get the job done

Well now all you girls out there tonight sure look fine
But my heart and soul and this body of mine
Is a red headed woman’s
Belongs to a red headed woman
Yeah a red headed woman
Sure gets the dirty job done

Now, if you’re expecting my usual deep song analysis, I will sadly disappoint today–not because I’m a prude, but rather because there no depths to plumb here. “Red Headed Woman” is about exactly what Bruce has always proclaimed it to be about, and that’s all there really is to say about it.

Well, okay, except for this: it’s not entirely about cunnilingus. There’s a whole verse about fellatio, too.

Like, seriously: there are only two verses that focus on oral sex, and each lover gets equal time. Yet every written reference I’ve ever seen to the song calls it a cunnilingus song. What’s up with that?

It’s true that in later years, Bruce added a verse to tilt the song a little more toward his partner, but even so…

Well push come to shove
And shove come to push
I was Moses kneeling for the burning bush
Of a red headed woman

(And if you expected something cleverer with four years to think up an additional verse, you’re missing the point of the song.)

“Red Headed Woman” still makes occasional appearances in the post-Reunion E Street Band era, and when Bruce looks past the novelty aspect of the song and leans into it, it works surprisingly well in country swing form and even better as a duet.

(Darn that editor–they cut away at some of the most entertaining close-up reaction shots!)

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite performances of “Red Headed Woman,” especially because it provides a nice bit of symmetry: When Bruce debuted the song back in 1990, he dedicated it not just to his wife but also to his red-headed co-headliner that evening: Bonnie Raitt.

Nine years later, Bruce had the chance to do it again. At his Reunion Tour show in Washington D.C., Bruce invited Bonnie to join the E Street Band on stage for a rousing encore of his ode to redheads.

Oh, and not just Bonnie, but also  Bruce Hornsby, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Shawn Colvin, and Jackson Browne–certainly one of the more unusual guest appearances on an E Street stage.

Red Headed Woman
Recorded: Late 1990
Never released
Frist performed: November 16, 1990 (Los Angeles, CA)
Last performed: March 26, 2013 (Melbourne, Australia)

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