Roll of the Dice: Blood Brothers

“I always felt that the friendships, loyalties, and relationships are the bonds that keep you from slipping into the abyss of self-destructiveness. Without those things, that abyss feels a lot closer–like it’s on your heels.” — Bruce Springsteen to Neil Strauss, September 1995

How can such a nihilistic song give us so much feels?

That’s the irony underlying the song that–despite only having been played five times ever–has come to symbolize for many the 21st-century E Street Band era.

On first listen–heck, maybe even on any listen–“Blood Brothers” is shocking in its apathy. If asked to name a defining trait for Bruce Springsteen on Family Feud, “passion” would almost certainly be the number one answer. But the singer of “Blood Brothers” can’t dredge any of it up–he can only remember it in the faint, foolish, glow of youth.

We played king of the mountain out on the end
The world come charging up the hill, and we were women and men
Now there’s so much that time, time and memory fade away
We got our own roads to ride and chances we got to take
We stood side by side each one fighting for the other
And we said until we died we’d always be blood brothers

Yes, Bruce is speaking of and to the E Street Band here. He admitted as much in interviews at the time–in fact he wrote the song on the eve of (temporarily, it turned out) reuniting with them in the studio. And that pull-quote at the top of the essay–it probably sounded a bit melodramatic at the time, but with the retrospective knowledge that its speaker has struggled all his adult life with depression…. well, suddenly that abyss seems very real and very close. I’d argue that “Blood Brothers” may be the most depressive song in Bruce’s catalog, the one that most clearly laid bare (if only we knew how to hear it at the time) his emotional struggle.

But even if Bruce wrote “Blood Brothers” in the grip of a depressive period (and there’s a very good chance that he did), the thing is: he’s not wrong. The E Streeters did and do indeed have their own roads to ride and chances to take. There’s no question that the band members have benefited from their “me time” over the years; a balance of personal and fraternal time is vital, and today’s Bruce seems to have finally realized it.

But in 1995, he was still searching and still coming to terms with the warring sides of his nature.

Remember, this is the man who only a few years earlier wrote one of the other defining songs of the Reunion Era:

Granted, “If I Should Fall Behind” is a romantic song and “Blood Brothers” a fraternal one, but the narrator of the latter seems to have lost the heart of the former.

If there’s an emotional core to “Blood Brothers,” this is it: that the passion and promise of youth inevitably comes under siege by the pressures of age.

Until this point, Bruce had largely lived a Peter Pan life, but now in 1995 he had three small children, had squarely entered middle age, and seemed to have left his rock and roll glory days behind him.

In other words–and in later words–it was “bills and kids and kids and bills and the ringing of the bell.”

And it’s a ride, ride, ride, and there ain’t much cover
With no one running by your side, my blood brother

It’s worth pausing for a moment here to note that despite the obviously personal lyrics and the interviews where Bruce flat-out copped to writing the song about the band, the song itself is actually sung to only one person, one blood brother. It would be a few years before Bruce would alter it to remove the veil–but we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

It’s the final verse that reveals the emotional state of the singer. He’s numb, detached, and removed from his actions, unable to feel the connections he’s clearly subconsciously searching for.

On through the houses of the dead past those fallen in their tracks
Always moving ahead and never looking back
Now I don’t know how I feel, I don’t know how I feel tonight
If I’ve fallen ‘neath the wheel, if I’ve lost or I gained sight
I don’t even know why, I don’t know why I made this call
Or if any of this matters anymore after all

The song’s final couplet almost seems like an afterthought, a too-neat bow to end the song on a happy note the song hasn’t earned.

But the stars are burning bright like some mystery uncovered
I’ll keep moving through the dark with you in my heart, my blood brother

But the key is in that very last line, now that we know to look for it: at the time at least, Bruce was still in the dark, still moving through it, and he knew that his personal relationships were the key to making it through to the other side. He’s not in a healthy place, but he knows his best chance of getting there lies with his family and friends.

That apathy carried through more than just the lyrics; during his professionally documented recording sessions with the E Street Band, Bruce couldn’t seem to find an arrangement that fit the song. Or maybe he was simply searching for an arrangement that would jolt him into feeling what he sang about losing.

In any event, besides the “official” version above that appears on Greatest Hits, we also have this “rock” version (with abbreviated lyrics) from the Blood Brothers EP.

Interestingly, the rock version discards the “I don’t know why” ending of the official version and replaces it with this couplet:

Now the moon’s dirty light shines ‘cross the highway unfurled
And this love burns inside me like the last light in the world

Those lines don’t appear in any other of the versions floating around, so it may have been a fleeting attempt by Bruce to summon a sentiment he just wasn’t feeling. Wisely, he dropped it.

And then there’s whatever this version is:

…and this lovely acoustic version (with some slight lyrical changes and verse swapping):

But the version at the top of this essay is the one that Bruce decided to release, and it’s the version he sang once at Sony Studios in 1995 before changing the song forever five years later.

Over the course of the Reunion Tour, the E Street Band re-formed their familial bonds. Fans could see the band’s intimacy gel over the course of the tour, and by the time the tour came to a close, their nightly “Land of Hope and Dreams” closer seemed less of a re-dedication promise and more of a statement of fact.

But on closing night, Bruce had one more song in mind after “Land of Hope and Dreams,” and while the band may have known it was coming, they were clearly not emotionally prepared for how Bruce had changed the song.

Bruce completely excised the nihilistic last verse and replaced it with lyrics that showed how in touch Bruce was with his heart at that moment. And if there was any doubt at all among those in attendance, Bruce’s tears and husky vocals put it to rest.

Now I’m out here on this road, alone on this road tonight
Close my eyes and feel so many friends around me in the early evening light
And the miles we have come and the battles won and lost
Are just so many roads traveled, so many rivers crossed
And I ask God for the strength and faith in one another
‘Cause it’s a good night for a ride ‘cross this river to the other side, my blood brothers

In that last line, that last word, Bruce finally made the song explicitly about his band.

When the E Street Band took to the road again on the Rising Tour, Bruce once again close the tour with “Blood Brothers,” his band surrounding him.

It was the last time that Bruce performed “Blood Brothers” before the sweet became tinged with bitter.

The E Street Band didn’t tour again (other than a brief Vote for Change sprint in 2004 that only barely qualified as a tour) until 2007, and in the late months of the tour, the band lost their first member: Danny Federici passed away on April 17, 2008.

When the band regrouped for their first show after Danny’s passing, a video tribute preceded the concert–a Danny montage set to, of course, “Blood Brothers.”

The following night, Bruce and the band–still healing as they would continue to do for some time to come–opened with their one and only performance of the rock arrangement of “Blood Brothers.”

Bruce only played “Blood Brothers” one time since–by request in Perth in 2017, and at the opening rather than closing show of a tour.

It’s notable that Bruce reverted to the original lyrics in the clip above for the first time since he debuted the song in 1995.

Perhaps he felt the original lyrics best suited the contemplative acoustic arrangement; perhaps it was just the version his crew posted to the teleprompter in the heat of the moment. Or maybe it’s just how he felt in that moment in his never-ending inner battle.

In any arrangement, “Blood Brothers” continues to be an emotional rarity, long and fondly remembered by those present to hear it.

Blood Brothers
Recorded: January 1995
Released: Greatest Hits (1995), Blood Brothers (1996)
First performed: April 4, 1995 (New York City, NY)
Last performed: January 22, 2017 (Perth, Australia)

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