Roll of the Dice: Freehold

Long before Springsteen on Broadway and Born to Run (the book), Bruce wrote the beginning of his autobiography as a song.

The impetus was a very special stop on his Ghost of Tom Joad solo acoustic tour, at Bruce’s old grammar school, St. Rose of Lima, a benefit for the school’s Hispanic community center.

The show was intimate (it was literally held in the school gymnasium), familial (only residents of the borough were allowed to buy tickets), and ribald–Bruce seemed to take great pleasure in playing songs like “Red Headed Woman” in front of the assembled nuns, no doubt a cathartic experience for a graduate of a repressive Catholic school education.

We can only imagine what Bruce must have felt like returning to “the scene of the crime.” (Bruce certainly gave us much assistance to do so in his 2016 autobiography.) As the November 8th date approached, Bruce decided to do more than just play a standard tour show; he invited some special guests (Patti and Soozie) to join him on stage, and tour premiered a whopping eight songs for the hometown crowd.

But he saved the biggest and best surprise for the very last encore: he’d written a brand new song for the occasion: a tender, funny, pointed, and affectionately disrespectful remembrance called, simply, “Freehold.”

Listen to that performance below (including an unintentional interlude where Bruce is reminded why he uses his Telepromptr most of the time).

I’ll forego my usual analysis of Bruce’s lyrics this time, because Bruce bares it all openly on the page. It’s interesting to note just how well the lyrics match with Bruce’s eventual book and stage show–and to remember how new this information was when Bruce first debuted this song back in 1996. There are few annotations worth making, though:

I was born right here on Randolph Street in Freehold
Here right behind that big red maple in Freehold
Well I went to school right here
Got laid and had my first beer
In Freehold

In both his book and his Broadway show, Bruce talks about the tree that felt like a childhood friend to him, a constant reliable companion while he was growing up. These days it’s a beech tree rather than a maple, and I wonder whether Bruce simply just didn’t get around to properly identifying it until it was gone.

Well my folks all lived and worked right here in Freehold
I remember running up the street past the convent to the church here in Freehold
I chased my daddy down in these bars
First fell in love with this guitar
Here in Freehold

That single line–“I chased my daddy down in these bars”–would become an emotional centerpiece story in Springsteen on Broadway twenty years later.

Well I had my first kiss at the YMCA canteen on a Friday night
Maria Espinosa tell me where are you tonight
You were thirteen but way ahead of your time
I walked home with a limp but I felt fine
That night in Freehold

Bruce has mentioned Maria often since that night, but at the time, fans scratched their heads and asked, “Who?”

He’d never spoken of her publicly before, and as a result, neither had she. When she was a teenager and had her secret kiss with Bruce, she was afraid of getting in trouble with her parents; years later, when Bruce was famous, she assumed no one would believe her. Maria had no idea Bruce remembered her, much less written a song about her, but once she heard the song’s lyrics she confirmed the event (which apparently lasted a full minute).

(She denies she sent him home with a limp, however–that may have been poetic license on Bruce’s part.)

Well the girls at Freehold Regional they looked pretty fine
Had my heart broke at least half a dozen times
I wonder if they missed me, if they still get the itch
Would they had dumped me if they knew I’d strike it rich
Straight out of Freehold

Bruce rarely lets his fame go to his head in public. This was a nice reminder that he’s subject to the same types of “glory days” what-ifs as the rest of us.

The remaining verses introduce us to characters and stories that we now know well from Bruce’s writing and stage performances:

Well Tex rest in peace and Marion gave us kids a hand in Freehold
Georgie, we started up a little Rock and Roll band in Freehold
But we learned pretty quick how to rock it
I’ll never forget the feeling of that first five bucks in my pocket
That I earned in Freehold

Well I got outta here really hard and fast in Freehold
Everybody wanted to kick my ass back there in Freehold
Well if you were different, black or brown
It was a bit of a redneck town
Back then in Freehold

Well something broke my daddy’s back in Freehold
In ’69 he left and he never come back to Freehold
Except once he drove from California 3000 miles in three days
Called my relatives some dirty names
And pulled straight out of Freehold

Sister had her first little baby at seventeen in Freehold
Well people they can be pretty mean
Honey you had a rough road to go but you ain’t made of nothin’ but soul
I love you more than you’ll ever know
We both survived Freehold

Well my buddy Mike, well he’s the mayor now in Freehold
I remember when we used to have a lot more hair in Freehold
Well I left and swore I’d never walk these streets again Jack
Tonight all I can say is “holy shit, I’m back”
Back in Freehold

Well this summer everything was green
Rode my kids on the fire engine through the streets of Freehold
I showed them where dad was born and raised
And first felt the sun on his face
There in Freehold

Well I still got a lot of good friends right here in town
I can usually find me a free beer somewhere
With offers of free meals I am blessed
Should I go crazy, blow all my money and ruin my life, well at least I’ll never go hungry I guess
Here in Freehold

At the time, it was a laugh line. But with time and revelation, we now know that Bruce has long struggled with mental illness. There’s a cost that comes with being famous and continuing to live in the place that you are very publicly associated with. But there’s a benefit as well, and it must be comforting to Bruce to live in a place surrounded by people who know more than just the side of himself he presents on stage, and to know that he’s loved and supported by a town grateful for his contributions without demanding them.

Finally, Bruce couldn’t let the occasion end without getting in one last good-natured jab at the expense of the school’s faculty and staff. We can almost hear the collective blush:

Well I got a good Catholic education here in Freehold
Led to an awful lot of masturbation here in Freehold
Father it was just something I did for a smile
Hell, I still get a good one off once in a while
And dedicate it to Freehold

Don’t get me wrong, I ain’t putting anybody down
Hell, in the end it all just goes and comes around
It’s one hell of a town
Freehold

Despite promising a one-time-only performance, Bruce played “Freehold” periodically throughout the remainder of the tour. (One has to wonder how the song played in such far-flung places as Sydney and Warsaw.)

He brought it back a couple of years later during the homecoming stand on the Reunion Tour, with some added lyrics. After the verse about his father, he added:

Now he’s there by the highway buried in the dirt
His ghost just flippin’ the bird
To everybody in Freehold

And in response to news of his hometown’s defeated proposal to erect a ten-foot statue of himself at a considerable cost, he sang:

Well I read something in the papers a few weeks ago that was pretty funny
Seems the town council was debating whether to up a statue of me in my hometown, but it cost too much money
Well I’d like to thank the Town Council my friends
For saving me from humiliation by displaying the good hard common sense
We learned in Freehold

Listen to that updated performance below:

“Freehold” is a sweet song, but after Bruce’s year-plus-long residency on Broadway and his preceding autobiography tour, it’s likely that Bruce is going to give the song a rest for a good long while.

As far as we know, he’s never recorded “Freehold” in the studio. It remains a concert memento, seen by few but cherished a special, intimate gift by those who have.

Freehold
Never recorded or released
First performed: November 8, 1996 (Freehold, NJ)
Last performed: February 20, 2003 (Somerville, MA)

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