Roll of the Dice: If I Should Fall Behind

(Updated June 20, 2019)

A truly great song can be re-arranged, re-recorded, re-invented, and covered many times over without ever losing its power or beauty.

“If I Should Fall Behind” is one of those songs, with seemingly infinite elasticity that lends itself to constant tinkering. It’s hard to keep track of all of the many different versions that Bruce has performed–some subtle, some bold–but I can’t think of a single clunker among them.

Bruce wrote “If I Should Fall Behind” as a wedding song, not just in its lyrics but also as a songwriting exercise: he wrote it while preparing to marry Patti, and he first performed it at their wedding in 1991. The following year, he gifted his song to the world as the third single on his underrated Lucky Town album.

Except for Gary Mallaber’s drums, Bruce plays every instrument on the track. Even if you’re intimately familiar with this song, it’s worth another close listen just to marvel at the care Bruce takes with his delicate guitar work.

What makes this song so enduringly endearing to fans is its recognition that (in the words of another great Springsteen song) it’s easy for two people to lose each other in this tunnel of love.

(In fact, “If I Should Fall Behind” serves as a great sequel to “Tunnel of Love.” It’s very easy to imagine that the same narrator sings both songs–“Tunnel of Love” at the beginning of a relationship and “If I Should Fall Behind” at their wedding.)

We said we’d walk together, baby, come what may
That come the twilight should we lose our way
If as we’re walking a hand should slip free
I’ll wait for you, should I fall behind wait for me

We swore we’d travel, darling, side by side
We’d help each other stay in stride
But each lover’s steps fall so differently
But I’ll wait for you, and if I should fall behind wait for me

These first two verses establish and recognize a near-universal truth: that no matter how much in sync we may be with our chosen life companion in the beginning, that synchrony is almost impossible to maintain over years and decades without interruption.

The twilight in the song represents years advancing, and as we go through life together, we grow closer in some ways and independently in others. Sometimes we focus more on ourselves, sometimes on our jobs, or our families. Sometimes we lose our connection to each other and let our hands slip free.

Now everyone dreams of love lasting and true
Oh but you and I know what this world can do
So let’s make our steps clear that the other may see
And I’ll wait for you, and if I should fall behind wait for me

The narrator of this song–and although I always to separate the writer from the character, it’s almost impossible to do so in this case–doesn’t try to promise otherwise. In fact, he pretty much predicts the bumps in the road ahead. He knows they’re coming, in fact, because he’s already done some walking down his that road alone: Bruce has revealed that the narrator “If I Should Fall Behind” may be the same man who sang “Darkness on the Edge of Town.”

But he promises that when he realizes that they’ve drifted apart, he’ll stop and wait. And he asks his love to do the same for him.

And that’s about as much as we can ever ask of anyone.

In the final verse, the lovers’ wedding is nigh, and the imagery that makes for such a beautiful setting literally foreshadow the challenges that lie in store:

Now there’s a beautiful river in the valley ahead
There ‘neath the oak’s bough soon we will be wed
Should we lose each other in the shadow of the evening trees
I’ll wait for you, should I fall behind wait for me
Darling, I’ll wait for you, and should I fall behind wait for me

There’s no stronger wedding vow than that.

But there are other bonds in this life besides those between husband and wife, and “If I Should Fall Behind” pays tribute to them, too.

In 1999, Bruce reunited the E Street Band after a decade apart. It was a decade of necessary personal and professional growth and exploration for Bruce, but he ultimately recognized the ties that bound him to his bandmates and that bound his band to his audience.

And so when Bruce constructed the story arc for the tour setlist, he immediately without exception ensured that one of the closing numbers of every show would be “If I Should Fall Behind,” a kind of love letter, apology, and promise to his bandmates and to his fans–each and every night.

To ensure that the message wasn’t missed, Bruce re-arranged the song to showcase the band members individually. He kept the instrumentation spare (except for Clarence’s sax solo, which says as much as any lyrics could), gave the song room to breathe, and capped it off with a closing line in gorgeous full-band harmony. The result is (IMHO) the definitive arrangement of the song.

But Bruce would still tinker with the song over the years, usually in small ways, but sometimes dramatically. Here’s a light doo-wop version from 1996:

…a solo piano version from 2012…

…and here it is as a waltz, from the 2006 Seeger Sessions Tour:

And a gorgeous, almost falsetto-range solo version from 2012 (this one’s a personal favorite):

…and finally, a pro-shot duet with Patti from the 2013 “Stand Up for Heroes” benefit that explores and reinforces the bond between a community and its defenders.

It’s a pretty safe bet that “If I Should Fall Behind” will never be a stranger to Bruce’s setlist. It’s a song that grows more meaningful as relationships grow longer and stronger.

***Update*** 

Five years after the performance above, and five months after I originally published this essay, Bruce and Patti reprised their Stand Up for Heroes duet, and it was even more sublime. It needs to be shared:

If I Should Fall Behind
Recorded: September 1991 – January 1992
Released: Lucky Town (1992), Live in New York City (2001), The Essential Bruce Springsteen (2003), Live in Dublin (2007).
First performed: June 8, 1991 (Beverly Hills, CA)
Last performed: November 5, 2018 (New York City, NY)

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